Today was mother's day and I got to see one of the most special people in the world to me today (besides my mom). My great grandmother, gigi, came to the party at my aunt's house today. And she was in better health than she has been in for years. She was making us laugh so hard and I enjoyed every moment knowing that there may not be any more moments left like this. Still as we sat there you could feel an empty presence. There was an empty spot on the sofa where my papa used to love to sit. He died last year. I wore the dress today that I wore to his funeral. I remember only too well those last few moments I got to spend with him before he passed on. It was a tuesday morning. I can remember exactly what I wore that day. I was wearing my yellow keep the earth clean shirt with a blue scarf and light colored jeans. I remember going to first period and then being called down to the office. To my surprise I found my mother down there with a very serious expression on her face. I couldn't understand why she was there. At first I thought that maybe there was a doctors appointment I had forgotten about. Then my mother told me how my great grandfather was dying. He wasn't awake and the doctors were saying it wouldn't be too long before he would succumb to the cancer he had been struggling with for years. She asked me if I wanted to go and say goodbye. I said yes. I'm grateful to those kind individuals who helped me during this difficult time. Especially teachers who let me leave school, and friends who kept me in their thoughts and prayers. It's good to know that my heavenly father has blessed me with so many wonderful and supportive people in my life. I thank him for this every day.
We got to the retirement home where they were living. As we drove there the day was bright and sunny and I couldn't help but think that this was a sad day and it shouldn't be so bright and warm. it should be cold and rainy. But then my mother reminded me of the atonement and how Jesus died so that we might live again. And I knew why it was so beautiful that day. Because i knew that I would one day see my grandfather again. I don't think I've ever cried as much as I did that day. My grandfather was not a member of the church. He didn't know the true gospel. Still I knew as I looked at his motionless body that he would accept the truth. I cannot wait to do his temple work so that i can be sealed to him for time and eternity. And it is also comforting to know that the last words my grandpa heard me say were, " I Love you."
Today we talked about grandpa and sharing treasured memories about all the good times we had together before he got sick. Memories of going to tanglewood every summer and going boating up there. I remember him steering the boat so fast dragging my dad along. he thought it was the funniest thing in the world. He was laughing so hard we were afraid he might have a stroke. And when he used to dive in my aunt's pool when he was still strong and healthy. halloween parties at his church. going to play at his house when I was younger. So many amazing memories I still hold close.
It is hard to lose a loved one. It is one of the hardest trials we go through while on this earth. But it's an amazing feeling to know that once they're gone it's not the end. It's only the beginning of forever.
Love you papa
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